Change in schedule

So now Ricky has a new job, we have to reevaluate our schedules. He'll be working from 7am to 5pm, so it'll be back on me to plan out and cook meals again. Plus it'd really be great to have a working vehicle again. I can't take riddles anywhere without a car. 

So need to figure this out. So much to do...

Back on Track

This seems to be the theme of my life. I feel like everything is a mess right now and that primarily has to do with me being tired (which is partially a vitamin D definciency and partly a "I need to get off my butt and exercise" issue.) I'm really not doing THAT badly, however I need to set some goals for myself and keep them in the forefront. I need an inspirational board and something to keep me motivated. Primarily, I'd like to lose weight, keep the house clean, work on my relationship, and stay atop of my extracurricular activities. I need to focus on volunteering too, but now it looks like that is not going to hapen until Feb. We'll see. Time to start planning.

Oh goodness! Life is so much better since mving jobs, but I seem to have thrown myself into everything again! I love my new job. I feel better about myself and what I can accomplish. I can do so much for this company and I'm excited for it. I'm also helping out with Toastmasters and Ricky's band, Mister Lucky. Hopefully I won't do too much and get myself all stressed out again. I need to figure out my schedule and give myself some down time. Hmmm,nails might be it. I'll need to figure out that one again.

Sleep anyone?

Oh goodness. I try to get things done but then my son decides that he wants to try to fall asleep with mommy for two hours. Thank goodness Ricky took over bathing duties last night. It gave me a chance to do laundry and also finally throw away those shoes laying in the carport that Will never took care of (bitter? a little)
Anyway, I did get some things done, bingo for me. However Ricky looked up what is going on with Riddles and apparently this is a phase. Argh. So it may some while til I am productive again. I'll keep trying to stick to my method of tasks however and try to spend more time with my men.

Simplify

It's time to simplify my life and the life of my family.




Hmmm, I wonder how I go about doing that? I suppose I start with the house. Get rid of everything we don't need. Organize everything we do. For the record, yes, I did do this before. And for the record, yes, it did work.
Life has been even more simplified since Will moved out. While I miss the little bastard, I'm glad to have control over my house again. I don't have someone critisizing every move or change I make in the house. I don't have flip flops and shoes and trash lying about the house. I hope he feels better too. Like he controls his own domain as well.
So goal #1...simplify.
So ways I can do this:

- Create snacks rather than lunches for my family. (Eating is to sustain life, not gorge.)

- Get rid of all furniture and stuff we don't need anymore (this includes my comic books, Riddles old toys, tvs, junk)

- Consider processes that take up time and making easier (cleaning the bathroom - keep cleaning stuff in the bathroom to clean during bathtime once a week.)

Tired

Slightly tired. Of course, it will hit me like a pound of bricks later tonight. I have to go to Toastmasters and wondering why. Perhaps it's time to focus on leadership instead of speeches? Somewhere along the line my excitement over giving speeches died out.
Honestly though, my passion for most stuff died out. Just super tired all the time. I need to start taking time for myself. With Ridley not sleeping though, it takes it out of you.

Work is going well except we found a couple of database that rely on the one I converted. Oh joy. So most likely more conversions. My work is all scattered in it's complexity. Of course, part of this is due to my lack of knowldge in Crystal Reporting so I just need to keep on keeping on. Must adhere to my goal of going beyong the customers needs however. I can do this!!!

Living the Good Life

Goodness life has taken a turn for the better...


Work: I was given my 90 day review and they love me. I'm doing work that I love and learning new things. It's amazing. What's more, my company seems to like to focus on the idea that give people work that they love to do and they'll be happy. Go figure! So now I feel a bit better about my role at work and feeling more secure about my sanity and my actual knowledge, I want to exceed my customers expectations! Blow them away! Work on being that big fish in a little pond again!

Home: Things between Ricky and I have been much better since about a week ago. Okay, so it wasn't really THAT bad to begin with but in all honesty, not having Will there has given us the freedom to be us more often. Didn't realize how much it was affecting us and our family. It wasn't bad by any means, but this is much better. Ricky and I have been working on the Death Star he got for his birthday and spending more quality time together. It's been so much more relaxing and better. So my goal here is just to continue investing that time into our relationship and spend better time together.
Ridley: My little man has been learning by leaps and bounds. I can pretty much hold an entire conversation with him between nods, gibberish and actual words. He's getting the hang of "ask and you shall receve". well, most of the time. He asks for a bottle right now and throws a fit when he doesn't get it. Focus on the little man will be on vocabulary and trying to get him to talk/communicate more.

YOLO

I have been feeling a little better about life in general lately. I'm starting to get my life back on track and identify the things I really want out of life.


Of course, Riddles progression with his vocabulary also helps immensely. I always start worrying about my parenting skills and then he goes through a dev leap. (Way to go Riddles!)
My intention is still to volunteer at Crisis Nursery however my email seems to have fallen on deaf ears. I missed the last orientation because it was at 1 in the afternoon and $65 for a background check. I emailed to ask them when the next one was, but received no answer. Maybe I'll go look at the website now.
I spoke too soon. I've regstered for a July course. That makes me feel better. Something someone said the other day about making time for what you think is important...I need to do that.
Right now, obviously, Ricky and Riddles are important, but also family and friends and exercising and volunteering. Am I taking on a lot? Damn skippy! But you only live once!

Birthdays

Argh, so sleep and tired. Are they the same thing? Ugh...no! I so could have taken Ricky's bday off, but unfortunately (a) HE does not have the day off because he is recording on Monday and (b) I am not allowed to take ETO until the 18th (merely one and a half weeks away). Argh!!!!!


Anywhoo...time will pass by soon enough. Lord know I do not have any patience and I need to work on it. Goals have been set aside for the meantime...however I do know this...since Will has moved out my stress levels have been pretty much cut in half (even with Ricky bemoaning the fact that he is turning 30....or as he likes to call it...OLD.) And the house looks immensely better. You can't even imagine the immensely larger area we have in the house. It's less cluttered, which means less areas for scorpions to hide. When I come home, there isn't piles of dishes and trash all over the place. Truly so much better. I still have some uncluttering to do, but this has free'd up my time and made me less stressed.

So onward...this weekend will be insanely busy. But a good busy, I'm trying to embrace my busi-ness. Lord knows, there will be no end to it until the kid is 18. So, small celebration Thursday, cake making and present making on Friday, the whole shebang on Saturday, collapse in a heap on Sunday...oh wait...I mean pick up the kid from grandpa's. Whew!
Should be fun. Hopefully. He better like it...he BETTER.

Back to a normal journal again. Well part venting and part goal setting. I'm all a flumux trying to figure out what to do with my life...and Ricky isn't helping with his constant depression over turning 30. 30?!? Wait until he turns 40 or 50 or any other age older. He'll look back and wish for the good old days. I'm 37 however I refuse to acknowledge it. I try not to think of it when I can. However, my body likes to remind me. I'm much slower to get up anymore and so tired all the time. I'm not as spry as I used to be. Of course, if I would get out an exercise more often, that probably would go away.


Now as for the rest of my life...I'm still highly paranoid and overly judgemental about everything. I don't know why but negative thoughts flow through my head so easily. That and I also just feel guilty for having so much in life. There are mothers and fathers waging and living through wars, poverty, famine and we have everything we could ever want.

I guess when I think about it, I just really need to get off my ass and volunteer. I have my job (knock on wood), I have my family, my friends, my wonderful house, but not volunteering have left a gaping hole that I've been taping a piece of paper over and saying, "I'll get to it."

I can go to a training session tomorrow. I'll make it my goal to look at that and attend tomorrow.

improvement

So time to refocus. I have been thinking rather morosely lately and considering my death. What if it happened in a year? A week? Twenty years? Forty years? What would I want? How would I feel good about who I am and ensure I haven't squandered my time on earth.


Although I love my son and my boyfriend, focusing my entire happiness on them is neither healthy or reasonable. I'm a firm believer in helping others and I think this would be a good point upon which to base my successfulness in life.

Who gives a damn if the house if immaculate and fashionable. Is it clean to the point that no one will get hurt or sick? Then we're good. I could spend that time better by visiting friends and family.

However, just visiting with friends and family and others is not good enough. I need to take it further. I believe by focusing on helping others by making their lives easier, healthier, happier, I can in turn make mine as well.

I'm not talking about pushy, judgemental, "you should do this" improvement. I'm talking make healthy meals that are delicious so Ricky can enjoy food and be healthy improvement. I'm talking spending quality time with my boy learning new exciting things to help him develop improvement. I'm talking create a database at work that helps everyone track and document everything a lot easier improvement. I'm talking going to a care center and help clean up the place so the residents feel comfortable improvement.

So I believe in everything I do, I need to ask: "Am I doing my best to assist and support the person I'm with right now?"

If the words, "Thank you so much, this makes my life so much easier/better." Then I'm not doing my job.

Making Progress?

Well I feel accomplished. Most nights I'm able to finish a few things. I'm putting together Sam's bday, the boys bday, working, taking care of the kid, cleaning the house, losing weight, exercising, eating healthier. I just seriously think life will never slow down anymore. It's just a constant go-go-go. Which can be good, but exhausting sometimes.


So, some updates

- Ricky and I are in a challenge to see who loses 40lbs first. I'm hopin I can buckle down and do this. Some things I need to keep in mind are: I lose weight best when I don't eat late at night and stay away from salty foods, protein keeps me fuller and satisfied longer, as long as I have a health snack with me, I can get through the day. if I keep my points at about 24 per day I think I can lose a lb a day. Need to watch out for things I know can get me...like mexican food (chips) and desserts.

- Work is going well. I just need to keep focused.

- I still need to go through and figure out what would make life easier. Still leaning towards a cleaning service, but Ricky is right...probably won't need one once Will moves out. Still....

Weekly Touchbase

I guess I should give myself credit for the things I AM doing first:




- I am drinking less Diet Coke.

- I am eating MORE fruits and veggies.

- I am MOVING more.

- I am prepping more foods.

- I am using my Franklin at home.

- I am staying on top of cleaning the house.

- I am spending more time with Ricky.

- I am reading more.



Some of the areas I could improve (this week):



- I will give more focus and attention to my relationship. Let Ricky know specifically how I adore him and enjoy being with him.

- I will log everything I eat and drink more water.

- I will organize my projects and devote time to them.

- I will continue to do what I have been doing.



In order to accomplish this, I will update my schedule and I will review it before and after work.

Feeling Active Again

I'm starting to feel accomplished and not to dumb anymore. I'm doing well at work, being productive, following Weight Watchers, losing some weight, sharing some nice time with my boyfriend, spending some nice time with my friends, and of course, feeling busy as heck!

Some things planned for this month:

• Work on credit and bills some more
• Fix the Mini
• Get my sexy self back
• Work on sharing some time with the man
• Start looking around at ways to give back

So how will I do all these?

• Credit: Look at ways to cut back on expenses
• Can Ricky listen to BBC elsewhere?
• Do we really need privacy assist?
• How much is all the web stuff adding up to?
• Make sure all bills are being paid on time (call DT)
• Mini: Call around to mechanics and find a good deal.
• Sexy:
• Purchase some perfume, some nice shampoo and conditioner and nicer clothes
• Stay on WW and lose that weight!
• Keep making meals
• Sharing some time with the man
• Start planning out some dates
• Plan the CA trip in July/August
• Look at ways to give back
• Look on volunteer.org
• Check with food banks

So Much Better

Who knew that a change in job could make such a difference? I've been struggling all this time, thinking I just needed to change my outlook and go figure, it was actually my job. Of course, any new job is going to be less stressful than an old one, but the people are so nice here and I'm back to doing what I love and what I know. Amazing!

And apparently people like me here, so that helps too. Now to just get the rest of my life back in order. My house is a mess right now. My love life is doing a little better. And yes, I believe my relationship is going well, however the man can put a good slant on things even when he's not happy so I will need to keep an eye on it.

Next goal: Lose weight and eat healthy. This is my primary directive for all of us. I know if both of us lost about 20 lbs each, we'd be immensely more happy and much healthier. I just need to figure out some foods that will be worth it to both of us.

Sidenote: As far as finances are concerned, it's getting better. We still have a few left to pay off, but it's not nearly as bad as it was. Speaking of. I think I'll make it my new task on Tuesdays to do finances and go through mail. See if I can chip away at what's left. At least we only have less than a year to pay off that mini! Woohoo!!

Looking Forward!

It's time for some new habits and a new Amy!

I love this new job! I'm ready to lose some weight! And it's time to get my booty back in gear!

One of my goals is to list out 5 things I'm appreciative of every day. So here goes:

1) I love my new job!
2) I love my men. They make me happy.
3) I love gettin back on rack! (Two days straight of losing weight and hoping for a third!)
4) I'm glad I get to spend time with my Dad and his family.
5) I'm happy to have gotten some bills paid off and pay off some more.

So some thing I would like to tackle tomorrow:

1) Bring in lunch and have Ricky fix dinner. Stay on track with my diet!
2) Call DT and arrange whatever I need to arrange.
3) Take Rids in to his swimming lesson!

Avoiding drama

I've been given a choice and so far, I've been angsty about it. I need to calm down, focus and make my decision. Trouble is, I usually decide with the thought in mind, "Will I regret it if I..."

But regardless, my mind just keeps going back to my little man and big man and spending some nice times with him without worrying about money. And I've hated worrying about money. And in all honesty, if I wasn't worried about misleading someone about my intentions salary-wise, I wouldn't stress about this.

I know what I want to do.

I'll have other opportunities. But #1 goal has been paying off debts and I'm going to stay on track.

So tired

...but I need to work past it. 

This has been a large deterrent to most of what I do. Heck I passed out on Ricky last night at like 10 pm. I just kept falling asleep while watching Face Off. Maybe it's my body telling me that I'm not particularly interested in that activity as I seemed to have no issue staying up to watch American Horror. 

Looks like I'll be staying in my current job. I can't say I'm heart broken. We need the money (as has been shown by the $400 car repair we just paid for.)

I did put together a schedule however, as much as I feel I need it, I feel like I don't want to be too structured either. I really think I'll just look into housekeeping services after we get all this debt paid off. That is what bugs me mostly. And what I need help with. If I can just get that under control, I'd feel so much better. 

Ridiculous!

Is everything at the moment! 

I need to find a way to make these reports run faster when the server is slow. I need to figure out what I want in life. And I need to figure out what my goals are. Considering my father, perhaps I should make these 5 year goals. That might be a good idea....

1. Finish my web hosting report, my tab report, and FOS report. 
2. Assist BH with automating. 
3. Talk to Ricky about 5 year plan. 
4. Figure out a way to do shopping and cooking. 

Time to reframe

...and work smarter, not harder. 

So the question is, how could I improve some tasks I have today?

- I need to use my fill table code to run the email stuff. 
- Also need to look at ways to make my split code quicker for past runs

Not much beyond that. Just a simple waiting game. 

I suppose I need to start thinking of ways to beef up my game on 1:1s as well. Perhaps mark a project that can really shine for the week?

Ugh, I'm so out of it. This damn cold/allergies.

How am I going to accomplish everything?

Well...I managed to hold on to my job...for now.

So I guess I need to question if I want to keep it. Hmmm...

Well, I imagine at least for another few months until I can pay our bills off. Anyway, the real question is how to get my life back again. I was posed the question of, "If you could explain 2013 in one word...one word to describe what you want to achieve....what would it be?"

I decided my word would be "Enjoy." I don't enjoy anything like I used to...sleep, showering, exercising, dating, chilling, existing.

I have so many goals but I always fail to make time for those things I just enjoy. Who knew that being a parent would be so overwhelming..anyway...

Things I'd like to figure out how to do...

1. Read a book
2. Exercise
3. Cook
4. Watch a movie without interuption
5. Draw a cartoon
6. Spend some couples time with Ricky

Some New Years Resolutions

1.  Plan out my menu
2. Take Ridley out more often
3. Drink more water
4. Take a statistics class
5. Relax more

I'm gonna go relax now.