Just for me

Oh goodness...where the mind wanders...

I am not the same person I was three years ago. Not even a year ago.

I'm horribly self conscious. Self deprecating. Self loathing. Depressed. Unmotivated.

I have my moments. (Usually when I'm not smoking.) Moments when I get ff my ass and do something. Why, starting my blog again, is at least a step in the right direction. But honestly, how did I allow myself to get to this position?

I constantly question myself. My sanity. My intelligence. My looks.

It's time to stop. It's time to respect myself again. My needs, my wants, my self.

I know I'm smart. I'm beautiful. I'm loving. I'm caring.

I just need to tap into that inner core. Remove that bad crust and dig into that inner beauty that once reflected out.

Okay, so I guess it's not enough to say it. I don't care how many times you have an epiphany...it doesn't work like the movies where suddenly you see the light and everything is fixed. Once your aware, you have to take the steps to make habits. So, hmmm, what would be a good step 1?

Stop smoking I think. Oddly enough, I've noticed my smoking not only taking a physical toll, but an emotional one as well. When I'm not smoking, I'm full of energy, and awareness. So perhaps my physical health should be first. This will involve:
1) Stop smoking for 2 days
2) Drink 4 glasses of water every day for a week
3) Do yoga every day for a week

This seems reasonable, yes? I feel better already.