I thought big boobs was a good thing?

On my list of many things to do, I have wanted to get a really nice collection of bras (and matching panties) for my wardrobe. I remember my grandmother telling me how a well known owner of a stage company, would get all of his actresses/dancers beautiful underwear because he felt that was they were wearing underneath reflected on how they felt on the outside. I want to look feminine and sexy for my husband, and myself.

So yesterday I was determined! I went to Target, picked out a few D cup sized bras (thinking I'm a borderline C/D) and headed off to the dressing room. I tried on all of them and thought, "What the hell?! None of these fit! I don't understand as my current bra is a D." But lo and behold, I checked my current (and worn out) bra, and the little tag says "DD".

"Oh great!," I thought, "Where in the hell am I going to get that size?"

Let me clue you in to a little thing called hypocrasy. Do you see those Victoria Secret models that strut their stuff on the runway, and have boobs that almost look Pamela style? None of those girls...NONE...are over a C cup. How do I know this? When I got fitted at VS back in the day, the lady told me I was a D, and unfortunately..."We don't carry those larger sizes." Ugh!

So, I checked the racks again, spotted some DD, and figured I would come back after I picked up hubby from work. As it turns out, we ended up at Mervyns.

I looked around and all the cute bras, you know the ones with cute prints and tiny lace., the half cups and demi-bras, were all available in D cup or smaller. So to make sure of my size, I asked the lady behind the counter to measure me again. Guess what? I was neither a D or a DD...I am a DDD.

Count 'em! Three whole frickin Ds! I politely asked her, with a bit of frustration in my voice, "But you don't have any in that size, right?" To my relief, she points me towards the back section and says, "Well all of our larger cup sizes are on that back wall."

Schweet! So I head over there to look at my myriad of options. I mean, it's a whole wall right? In this day and age of Pamela Andersons and Roseanne Barrs, surely they have a decent selection of larger cup size. Uh, hell no.

Out of the entire wall, there were two bra styles that had my size. One was a "minimizer" bra that scrunched your boobs in and flat. (Generous boobs = good, right? Why would I want to "minimize" them?) And the other style was perfectly designed...for my grandmother. Large and shiny. The kind that make your boobs look twice the size in addition to your body. Erk!!

I was so depressed and frustrated. I went straight home and looked online for bras that would fit me. But here's the problem. I'm a 38DDD. 38 is too small to be "larger sizes" and too big to find a cup in my size. Of the bras I found in my size, they're either sold out or $100 each. I even checked Lane Bryant, for the volumptuous woman. They didn't have any sizes below a 44.

Argh!!!! What the hell?!?! I thought this nation loved big boobs? I thought having big boobs and a waist counted for something in this nation? But once again, I find that what society says and what society does are two totally different things.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy a coconut and string.