Okay, enough of the lighthearted crap. That's right...the bitch is back. The whiney, moany bitch that is. It's time to vent.
I've been having issues with my husband. I'm sure many of my blogging buddies (as well as my non-blogging ones) are fully aware of that. Crimes he's guilty of?
- Not paying enough attention to me
- Not having sex with me
- Not getting me a Christmas gift (among other holidays)
- Not treating me like I'm his wife, more like his mother
- Playing video games non-stop whenever I'm around
Now I'm sure this doesn't seem like much to most. I've even heard a few people say, "Well, it could be worse. He could be abusive." But quite frankly I've never seen a judge in court say to a parent, "Well you were negligent, but not abusive, so I'm going to award you parent of the year."
This frustration and hurt has been building inside me for quite some time. So I laid it all out for hubby. (I know I probably shouldn't be airing this all out but to a few close friends, but...I gotta get it out...and I have to remember.) I talked to him on the phone at work and said we had to talk. Then I emailed him everything I wanted to talk about later that night. Then I made the dreaded ride home, after getting up some courage from some very close friends before I left.
So I got home. We ate. We cleaned up. Then I went outside.
I poured my hear out. I told him I was hurt. I told him I didn't think he was attracted to me anymore. I asked him how he'd feel if when he was a kid, he came out on Christmas day to find no presents. And asked him how that would make him feel. And asked him what he'd think he thought his parents felt about him based on that. And how he'd feel if it happened on every holiday. I said everything. Everything I was feeling ranging from hurt to anger, frustration and disbelief.
Of course, he said all the things he should have. He even asked if I'd had enough. If I was ready to leave. I was so close to saying yes, but I wimped out.
I mean, I've been married to him for 9 years. With him for over 12. You don't easily give up on that. You don't just walk away from that. But I also honestly told him I don't know how many more chances I have in me. I told him that while things would be good short-term, I didn't know how long it would last.
I guess I'll just wait and see. And hope.
4 comments:
You are atractive.... other men find you atractive as well... I know that for a fact!!!
The only thing is... you leave???? NOT... kick is arse out and tell him not to let the door hit him on the ass on the way out. You deserve way better, I think you are afraid of what life will be like if you had your freedom????? I have a feeling that this is EXACTLY what you need... tell him to go and stay w/ his mommy for a while... that is all you are to him at the moment... I bet his mum would get more respect??? Maybe?
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I can definitely understand how you feel.
But if anything, he's the one that needs you. He needs to start treating you better.
Markbnj (the MAN) in NJ Sez:
Men are STUPID. Absolutely.
You need to read him:
a) the riot act (problem statement--you did this already)
b) the Proposed solution
c) the method of judging if solution is correct.
Sort of reminds me of the textbook definition of Management.
Decide
Delegate
Verify
Correct results and restart
As I started off here:
MEN ARE STUPID.
Period.
We think with our penis.
We (think we) live with our mothers.
We take advantage of EVERY single
thing we can.
And unfortunately, we're very very lazy.
But we CAN be trained, if you are persistent enough, and want to.
(ask my wife, after 30 years together... please)
Markb
Love, and hope you can figure this out...
you did step 1, just need to come up with concrete steps so the lazy guy doesnt get away with it.
TTFN
Markbnj: Dude, slow your role on the man hating. ALL of us aren't lazy or stupid. Humans in general have a natural tendency to be lazy, but to say that ALL men are lazy is incorrect. Men aren't trained, they mature and grow emotionally.
It's really about respect. Onyxpurr did the right thing by confronting him and making her feelings known. Sounds like she took a reasonable approach and wasn't harsh or accusing about it. I bet he'll respond positively, but it could take a while.
As far as the sex thing...I can relate to that for sure. Any man that won't have sex with his wife as much as she wants is sick in the head.
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