Somethin's going on and I'm not quite sure what. My body is just acting weird on me. Not sure if it's psychosomatic or just plain cancer, but I decided to schedule a doctor's appointment anyway.
So now I'm psyching myself up for all inevitable outcomes:
Outcome #1
Doctor: "There's nothing wrong with you. Stop freaking out."
Me: "Okay."
Outcome #2
Doctor: "You have stones."
Me: "What? I'm not stoned!"
Doctor: "No, you HAVE stones."
Me: "Fuck."
Outcome #3
Doctor: "You have cancer."
Me: "Yippee!"
Doctor: "Did you hear me?"
Me: "Yes! Give me the number to Make a Wish
Foundation. I want to skeet with The Donald's toupee."
Outcome #4
Doctor: "You're pregnant"
Me: "Stop fucking with me."
Doctor: "Okay. You have cancer."
Me: "Yippee! Call Make A Wish. I want a little clone and she shall be
called...Mini-Me."
So, I'll let you know tomorrow what happens. If anything. The doctor will probably just tell me to stop stressing out so much and take a vacation. Either that or the standard, "let's do some more blood tests so we can drive you crazy for about another week or so."
4 comments:
Good luck at the doctors. Don't get worried until you know for sure what's up. Obviously something is, but you don't have to assume the worst. Is it possible that it's stress?
I hope they figure out what's wrong. I know what it's like to have to wait around and have test run. It's no fun. Which reminds me I should go to a doctor too. Maybe later.
I could totally understand if it's stress. Work is very stressful right now. I just want to get it over with though. If they say it's stress, then that's fine, but at least I'll know.
ok onyx ... you are one crazy hilarious lady. Its a good thing that u can laugh about yr troubles . not many people can do that. And i guess this ability will see you through whatever u are going through!!(which i hope and prey is nothing serious). then again anythign that doesnt kill you makes you stronger, right?? (joking)!!
take care! and get well!!
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