I'm just exhausted today. But a good exhausted. Honestly, I think it's some mild form of depression. I don't want to do anything but stay in bed and sleep. Oh, don't worry, it will pass. I just need to give myself a swift kick in the ass. However, I believe this depression is due to two things:
#1. I have been gaining weight like a mother-fucker. I am well over 200 now and thoroughly depressed. Well...not well over 200, but over 200 and anything over 200 is WELL over 200 for me. Whenever I eat I feel like a fishing bob. Like I drank too much water. Way too fat. I've started exercising and eating better, but I'm sure I won't feel better emotionally until I'm at least under 200. #2. The whole damn pregnancy thing. I know that as long as I stress and are overweight my chances of getting preggers are slim to none. However, it seems as everybody and their fuckin wife/girlfreind/favorite hooker are pregnant.
My mother called me yesterday. "I've got great news!!", she says. Apparently my cousin is pregnant. Now I feel like a real bitch, but I'm thoroughly fuckin jealous. I kept on saying the congratulatory, "That's great!" and "Good for them!" but everyone who has a kid and everyone expecting a kid just makes me look up to the sky and exclaim, "WTF?!"
I am happy for them. Three years now they've been trying. Almost to point of giving up natural and seeking assistance. As a matter of fact, that's where she was when she found out. They were about to give her a test and said before doing it they had to test if she was pregnant. She said no way, but took it. Then they came out all shits and giggles and told her they couldn't help her because she was three weeks pregnant already.
God plays a funny game sometimes.
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