Gift From Heaven

So...I've been reading about this "basal" temperature stuff. Hmmmm....so the only question really left to ask is, "Why the fuck did it take eleven years of a relationship to find out I don't need to waste hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests to find out I'm pregnant?"

(Ya know, at this rate, I'm going to have to start a WTF?! daily question. I seem to ask this a lot.)

So for you uneducated in the ways of ovulation, lemme explain.

First thing in the morning, before I even get out of bed, I take my "basal" temperature. After my period, it's normal, then right at the start of ovulation it spikes up about .6-1 degree. That's how I know when it's time to try to make a baby. Now stay with me here, this is the most amazing thing:

If the temperature stays high, for say about 18 days, a woman can relatively say with ease, "Hey. I'm pregnant!"

Do you know how much this little miracle worker of a thermometer cost me? $10. Ten freakin dollars!!! (Well maybe a little more with tax.)

And I don't have to take any more pregnancy tests, don't even have to worry about ovulation tests. So once again I ask, WTF?

Also, interestingly enough, I took my first reading today. (Still feeling punky though with twitches in the nether regions, headaches, lack of appetite, and slight nausea.) My reading was 96.3

Normal readings are usually 96-98, I believe. Some websites say anything below 97 is low. And do you know what a low basal temperature might indicate? HYPOTHYROID.

Hypo-freakin-thyroid. Whew!! Yeah, not cancer, not heart attack, not pyscho-crazy lady syndrome. HYPOTHYROID. Which might explain my fat ass.

So best case? I may be preggers, but only if my basal temp was incredibly low to begin with. If I don't see any changes in temp in the next 10 days, I'm going in for a blood test for pregnancy.

Worst case? Hypothermia, umm, I mean hypothyroid-ia, which I can live with. Then I'll schedule an appt with the doc and say, "get me some meds, STAT!" Just so I sound professional and he takes me seriously. (Yeah, right)

So emotionally I feel better today. Not so out of whack and freaked out. Just in case, I am taking my prenatal pills. Those things are chock full of vitaminy goodness so no harm. Prenatal vitamins are like God, now I think about it. If I take them, and there is no baby, then no harm done; but if I don't take them and I am pregnant -- I'm fucked.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for bearing with me. Perhaps I'll have some entries unrelated to my ovaries this weekend. Give you a break.