I'm going to have to blame work on this one. See, of the many perks of now being with a larger corporate company, I get the chance to be blocked from every fun site in existence...well, except for YouTube in which apparently I can still watch skits with profanity and sex scenes because the filter can't tell if it's named Stick It To Her. (And for you google-curious, no that's not really a YouTube video...that I know of)
Anyway, life has been fairly busy. I nearly went out of my mind, until some people decided to help out and get me some help. While professional help would have been warranted, instead they found me a few people to help out with web stuff. So now instead of a bill-yun things to do, I now only have a million. Now I can go bald at a slower rate.
I've been horribly frustrated and a bit depressed lately. Life has just been one glob of one work issue to the next. I go from staring at a computer screen at work, to staring at an iphone screen (to check for emails), to staring at a screen at home to do work and TM (Toastmasters.) I wake up alone and I go to bed alone. And to top it off, the one person who thought I was the best person ever, is now gone.
I know...I still have my friends. And while although awesome friends they are, they can't replace the adoration of a mother and the comfort of a significant other.
I'm fairing a bit better these days. I sit here right now, not in tears although I'm tired and it's close to going to bed, listening to an artist's concert who I'll be attending with a good friend. I'm working, but not stressing. And while it would be nice to have another warm body in bed with me, the teddy bear will do for now.
I know life isn't all that bad. I have my friends, I have my job, I have my grandma, I have my car, and not to mention this luscious ass of mine. Kidding. Or am I?
It's just hard to teach an old dog new tricks. I've never been single or alone really before. I'm been alone with someone, but never by myself before. And while it has been two years, it's been a very...full...two years. I'm just now starting to cut the apron strings to my two best friends, however still trying to figure out how to retain my independence without being a loner.
I'm more awkward than ever socially right now. I feel like I've retreated back into my shell a little. Not as sure of myself as I used to. I just need a project or an accomplishment though and I'm sure I'll feel stronger again.
