Sunday, December 31, 2006

Shhhh, everyone is sleeping...

Or at least that's what I assume because I've heard hide nor hair (what the hell is that supposed to mean anyway) of anyone in the blogging world lately. Or email. Or phone. Well...with the exception of the United Blood Services who hound you like the mafia wanting some money you owe them on the ponies.

So here I sit. Awaiting news on New Years Eve activities. A couple of friends of ours were supposed to give us a call and let us know what was going on. But considering the girlfriend (no, not mine, you dirty minded people) just got into town yesterday, they may be a wee bit on the tired side.

So now I sit here trying to figure out plans for the unknown. Hubby is playing video games (he's nothing if not reliable) and I'm about to sit down to a good Mel Brooks movie. I would like to go out tonight, but that all depends on the friends.

Hubby mentioned going to Mill Avenue for the festivities, but fuck, it's cold outside. I don't think we'd go by ourselves, but I would deal with rock hard nipples for friends.

Have a Happy New Years!!!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Hello, My name is Onyx and I have a husband who is addicted to video games

This seems to be the bane of my generation. I can't tell you how many girlfreinds I've spoken to who have to battle their husband's new mistress...the video game.

I have done everything in my power to sway this bitch's hold on my husband. Rubbing his head, his back, asking outright if he'd like to join me for a soapy session in the shower. To no avail.

As I write this, not three feet away from him, I can hear her steamy voice luring him in further, "Red power node is currently under construction."

He knows all her right buttons to push. Knows her every want and desire. To make things worse, she's connected. So not only does she have one move, but can give him new pleasures with each new game. That whore even does it with multiple players at a time.

How can I compete with that?

I think I'll have to take out the beyotch soon and slip her a virus.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Happy New Year!!

Copy the first sentence of the first post of each month from this year:

Jan 2006
Let Me Be The First To Wish You... a very Crappy New Year!!!

Feb 2006
Sometimes you're enormously happy, and sometimes you're extremely bummed.

Mar 2006
Yes, I got my hair cut again. Well specifically all of them (yuk, yuk, yuk)

Apr 2006
You know, it's kind of scary how much I look like the church lady in this picture.

May 2006
Busy was the word for this weekend. Let's see, how shall we start off?

Jun 2006
So hubby talks me into getting two tickets for the local lottery.

Jul 2006
Yes, I'm on a real bona-fide vacation this week.

Aug 2006
Well if you can't tell from my latest post, I just got finished with doing finances.

Sep 2006
When it rains, it pours...
Okay, well not literally in Arizona. Figuratively.


Oct 2006
I am exhausted.

Nov 2006
In perfect tradition with the holidays...
It looks as if I have a cold.


Dec 2006
Busy Week?
It was for me. It seems my social life has all of a sudden taken off.


Jan 2007
I just won the lottery, lost thirty pounds, partied all night with Kevin Spacey, Bruce Campbell, and Brad Pitt and then had mind-blowing sex with my husband which resulted in conception.

Well a girl can dream, can't she?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Perhaps I've been watching too many movies...

Do you ever have to do something, but you just wait for the perfect moment to do it? You're not sure what defines that 'perfect moment', whether it be courage or just mentality. But you wait...and then all of a sudden, you're driven to accomplish that task. You know you have to do it at that moment, or you may never have the ability to do it again?

I just sent two emails. Emails I had been waiting on creating and sending for awhile now. Emails to old high school friends.

I didn't know if I wanted to email them. Heck, no one has gotten into contact with me since the reunion. But I found the emails in my day planner which hasn't been opened since before the holidays. And I was motivated to send something.

The first was a guy, a sweet and lovable guy, who was a friend on mine. Unfortunately, he expressed his undying love to me in high school and I squashed his heart like a bug on a windshield. Rather than trying to reinforce our friendship, I made light of the situation and acted like a real bitch.

So I emailed him and said I was really sorry for that and he truly was a nice guy and I was undeserving of his friendship.

The second was to a couple I was close friends with. Last time I saw them, they did some things that pissed me off. Although they didn't know it, I chose to end ties with them and never contacted them again...til now.

My email to them started out with schmarmy crap about what good friends they were and how I couldn't believe they were still together after all this time. But it ended with complete and utter honesty. (Heck, it's email. I could never say such things in person.) I pondered why we hadn't emailed eachother. And why no one had emailed me since the reunion. I told them there was a reason why I hadn't contacted them since the last day we met, although didn't go into detail about the whys. I also told them I cherished the time we had in high school and told them what great friends they were.

I have no idea what motivated me. I don't really know what to expect back. Ugh, I'm such a psycho, sentimental beyotch.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Overacheiver

So, I've been on vacation all week. I sorely deserved it. But as usual, rather than spending it 'relaxing', I've been catching up on home projects and shopping.

So far, I've helped my father-in-law put up new shutters on the house. Then I painted them. Then I painted our bathroom. All with brush. I just like the patterns on the pain made with a bristle brush. I've completed all my Christmas shopping and doled out some gifts.

I've even finished a few books. Brother Odd (see previous entry) was great. I even splurged and got the latest hard back book from my favorite romance writer. I've been eyeballing the book for ages, but have been unwilling to part with my $25 to get it in hard back form. But because it tis the season, I splurged.

Today, I've done nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well except read and watch television. (Although I did go to WW, and lost an amazing .2 lbs. Amazing, because I've eaten horribly last week.) I did get the chance to catch Walk The Line on cable today. It's such an amazing story. I can totally relate, but I'm not going to tell why. That's a story best left for another day.

So, I have to get back to my slothfullness. I'm watching Pretty In Pink and need to contemplate why us girls always fall for the guy not good for us and why we always ignore the Duckies of the world.

Ta, ta and a Merry Christmas, Hanukah, or Kwaanza to you!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I Know What I Want For XMas

Faster?

Our network connection has been pitfully slow lately. Today, upon arriving home, the network connection did not work at all. So I connected hubby's pc to the modem directly, as opposed to the router, and it worked.

So I headed out to Best Buy. Set up the new router and went to unplug the old one. Guess what? The battery it was plugged into was turned off.

Oh well, this new router is supposedly better. Hubby swears the connection is faster. We'll see.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

He Said, She Said

He said ....I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear pants don't you?

He said ........Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said ...... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said ..... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said .... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said .... They don't have time.

He said ...... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said ..... We don't know; it has never happened.

He said ...... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?
She said ..... They already have boyfriends.

She said .... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said ..... A widow.

He said ..... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said .... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Bluebert...

Happy Birthday to BLUE!
Happy Birthday to BLUE!!
Happy Birthday, dear buddddyyyyyyyy...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BLUE!!!!!!!

Make sure if you get a moment to wish my buddy Blue a Happy Birthday, minus the snot!!!

I Shoulda Been a Jehovah's Witness

Would you really like to know how I feel about the holidays? Yeah, they still suck.

Hubby is doing okay. A minor scare, but all tests came out negative (or positive, depending how you'd like to define it.) However, the consulting firm he usually works with decided to terminate their relationship today. So status during the holidays? Unemployed.

In addition to that, I did receive a holiday bonus from work. And although, while much appreciated, the IRS took almost half of it. Oh, and the dryer is on the fritz. I haven't decided if I want to try to fix it myself, but I better decide pretty soon.

Oh wait, nevermind. I have vacation next week and hubby is unemployed, therefore also off next week. So screw it. I think we'll both just lounge around in a funk and match the smell of our clothes to our generel feelings.

I kid, I kid. That would just be nasty.

But yeah, I hate the holidays. Ugh.

By the way, before finding out the new status of our finances, I purchased the new Koontz book, entitled Brother Odd. If you've not yet had the chance to read Koontz or his Odd series, I suggest you go out and read Odd Thomas, Forever Odd, and this latest one. Very good reads. If you have read the first two, what are you waiting for? Rush out and contribute to my favorite authors earnings and GRAB THIS BOOK!!

Happy Freakin Holidays.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Destructive Relationships

As you may know, I attended a high school reunion a couple of weeks ago. I gathered the emails of a few people including my (old) best friend. I've been deliberating whether to actually use it. I keep thinking about the people we were then, the kids we were then; and the people we are now. Would we even be friends if we met another way? There was a reason I stopped calling her. I think it was a good reason. I witnessed something she did that was horrific. Even hubby agreed that we should just break off the relationship.

Something happened last night that gave me my answer. We ran into an old friend of my husband's at dinner last night. I knew this guy, and while although he's a nice guy...he's destructive. You know the type, doesn't exercise, smokes like a chimney, drinks, smokes some other stuff religiously. Not a good positive influence.

For years now, I've been trying to get hubby to be more proactive about his health, physically and mentally. Forunately, once hubby cleaned up, all his friends scattered. This was a small blessing.

But now they're all showing up again. And hubby partook of the old habits. And now hubby is in the hospital because he had a major panic attack. They may have found an abnormal heart murmur (he just said, "heart murmur", but quite frankly if they didn't find one at all I'd be very concerned. I just need to find out if it's normal or abby-normal).

So after he woke me up the first time early this morning, and I was trying to get back to sleep, I kept envisualizing me telling him; "It's those fucking friends of yours! They're a bad influence! I don't want you hanging with them anymore!!"

Of course, I sound like a nag and every other woman out there who has something against her boyfriend's or husband's friends. But he always does so well, then one of these losers enters the picture and he regresses. Then I'm left to pick up the peices as they drive home mildly buzzed. Fuckers.

So that's when I realized that just as much as he doesn't need these asshole friends dragging him down, neither do I. I already have my great friends. I don't need more crappy ones.

That includes my dad.

So don't piss me off.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Sometimes you just can't help yourself...



The career woman in me is a bit disappointed, but the five year old in me can't help but laugh at this.

It amazes me how moments of immaturity still make their way into my adult life.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Okay, time for a regular post...

Where is everybody? I know I shouldn't give a rats ass, write for myself, blah, blah, blah...but come 'on! Okay, I'm being a little bitchy. My aunt is coming to town in a week, and I'm turning klutzy and bitchy. Plus it's the holidays. I HATE the holidays. No...H...A...T...E...the holidays.

Because they are full of commercialism. Because it forces you to be nice to the family member that royally screwed you over during the year. Because it guilts you into buying expensive gifts over thoughtful ones. Because you are always guaranteed to gain some weight. Because I'M guaranteed to get sick. Because you end up going into debt buying 'just a little' something for twenty additional people because they date/hang around/see the other people you're giving gifts too. Because theres always one drunk in the crowd that says something uncomfortable or something you told them in complete secrecy.

I once asked my family if we could forego the whole gift-giving and just have a nice dinner together. Appreciate each others company. Yeah, THAT went over well.

Bah-humbug.

Okay, I take it all back. Just a little bitchy.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Not Bad, but I told you I'm lazy

Greed:Medium
Gluttony:Medium
Wrath:Low
Sloth:Medium
Envy:Low
Lust:Very Low
Pride:Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

New haircut, bad picture


Okay, okay, I know it's not that great a pic, but I just had to post. This is my new style...

I was so jealous when Blue got hers done. It's been a while since I found a decent hairstylist and this guy is GREAT!!!! Tuesday I'm going to have highlights put in (just to blonde me up a little bit) --bites acrylic nails--

Sidenote: Whilst logging into Yahoo I saw a short blurb about Mel Gibson and his new movie. The writer was asking if this new movie would 'save' his career. Okay, let me vent a little. First of all, his work and his personal views while although may be related, should not be to us. A movie is a movie. You either like it or you don't. You don't take into consideration if the director is a schmoe or not. Hasn't hurt Woody Allen or other infamous directors. It shouldn't hurt Mel. And while I do not prescribe or respect his hate of Jewish people, for heaven's sake people! You do not fight hate with hate. You will not change this man by telling him how worthless he is. Spread a little love around, and maybe some forgiveness. I really hate to say it, but get off your high-horse you liberals and christians (both of which I DO presecribe to.) Start practicing what you preach. And open your heart. Jesus didn't hang around with saints for a reason.


Update: Too funny, but I guess this cut is either a love or leave it. So far I've had:

1 doesn't like it, 2 so-sos, 4 love its, and a "Can you give me the name of the guy?"



Thursday, December 07, 2006

6 Weird Things about You

According to the rules...Each player of this game starts with the "6 Weird Things about You". People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog!"

1. I swallow my gum and make no apologies. It's just easier.

2. I love geeks. I always pick the guys that no one else thinks is cute (Spacey is a fox, and I still think Tom Cruise is cute.)

3. I fantasize frequently about anything and everything. My favorite is when I'm at work and I fantasize that we're taken hostage. I imagine myself telling the terrorists to kiss off and find a way to save my co-workers by flirting with a terrorist and kicking his nuts in when he takes me to a small room to take advantage of me.

4. I have what's called a Dowagers Hump (it's a bump on the back of my neck.)

5. I think I will die early because a lot of my family is still alive. I think the odds are that I will die from some freak accident or disease. Mostly this is because my hubby keeps saying he'll die soon due to all the crap he's done in his life. But I'm a firm believer in Murphys Law, therefore the irony will be my demise before his.

6. (added) I don't like onion, but I love funyuns. Actually I like the taste of onion, I just don't like actually eating the onion. I guess I don't like the texture.

Okay, I was tagged by Miss P.

I would like to tag:

- Bluebert
- Miss Adventure
- Cloudy (it's a two-fer Cloudy, I just don't have enough blog friends! lol)
- Beaker
- Mark
- Justin


Completely Unmotivated

I'm trying, just not getting anything done. Of course, Blue is to blame for some of this as she drags me out to have fun at the clubs and bars on the weekend. But I'm just lazy lately. A couple of weekends ago, I actually purchased materials to make a goal poster (whiteboard, markers, glue) and not only have I done nothing with it, the materials are still sitting in the grocery bag. When I sit to do my comics, my mind is a blank. It takes me a good half hour to figure out what I'm going to do (which was nothing last night).

I've been meaning to vacuum, clean the fish tank, something, anything, for the past few weeks, but my body just groans and rolls over. I contribute part of this to the cold weather as well. Okay, so I don't live in some God-forsaken freakin country with snow drifts and ice (How do you deal with it, Cloudy?), but I'm cold! Granted it's Arizona, but could you imagine putting a Jamaican in Alaska? Yeah, not gonna happen. Whenever I'm home, I just want to snuggle under the covers and let sleep claim me. The weather change has definately made me sleepy.

Well, I have nothing left to talk about I guess and no elegant way to end this entry. So adios, muchachos!

Sidenote: No, P, hubby has not gone in for his test yet. Supposedly this Friday. He's even lazier than me if you can believe it. He does nothing but play video games and drink beer at night lately. I told him no snuggling until he can act like a responsible adult. Responsible daddies do not get drunk every night. He agreed and sauntered his way to the living room to sleep by himself. Like I said, he's being a butt. Oh well, if there's one thing I've learned in a long-term relationship, everything is just a phase. I just wonder how long it will last. At least it's better than all the crap we went through last year. Thank God 2007 is around the corner!!!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Bluebert Made Me Do It...Life Score Updated

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 7
Mind: 6.8
Body: 7.5
Spirit: 6.8
Friends/Family: 6.9
Love: 7.3
Finance: 7.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Compared to last year's
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 7.4
Mind: 7.5
Body: 5.5
Spirit: 6.8
Friends/Family: 6.3
Love: 9.1
Finance: 7.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Wow! I thought I had improved. Yikes! Maybe I was just more honest this time?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Busy Week?

It was for me. It seems my social life has all of a sudden taken off.

So, (deep breath), I finally started a MySpace account. I know, I know...may as well tattoo "geek" on my forehead, but I've heard of many people reuniting with long lost friends through this MySpace stuff, so I figured I'd give it a try. Sure 'nuff, first looksee at my old high school and I get int touch with a few old friends. Turns out that there is a informal high school reunion on Saturday and yours truly is invited.

So, on the agenda for Saturday aside from Weight Watchers and laundry...high school reunion (13 years if your wondering.) Oh but wait! A close friend of mine, his step-father's 50th Birthday is coming up and they're having a big shindig at the Crowne Plaza (forgive my slang, I'm in the middle of watching Desperately Seeking Susan). Both of these events start at the same time, so I'm in a dilemma.

Saturday rolls around. We go to Weight Watchers. We go out to eat. We go get Blue's hair done. We change. We head out to the high school reunion. If you haven't been to one of these...you simply must. Its weird. And all your memories come flooding back. That guy was dick. That guy was a sweetheart. That guy was just weird. That girl was a bitch. That girl was a slut. That girl is still a bitch. That girl is really quiet. Just weird.

But a couple of hours pass, we make our apologies for leaving early and head out to the B-Day shindig. We know virtually noone. So we end up staring into space most of the time and smiling politely at people we don't know. We had a good conversation with an old drummer though. That cat was cool.

An hour passes and Blue gets a text message from her buddy. It's her birthday and she's all alone. We must remedy. So we make apologies once again and book it over there. We decide to go to a close club. It was cool, It was made up of about four different types of clubs. I got hit on quite a bit, by some cuties too. A girl needs that from time to time. Blue and her friend got a lot of interest too but unfortunately not by the types they'd hoped for. All in all, we had great fun. We danced in the cage, they rode the bull, we got harrassed by freaks, but danced our asses off. AND made it safely home.

I went to sleep at 3 a.m. and didn't wake up until 1 p.m. (Lesse, 1..2..3...about 10 hours, not bad), but I'm still recuping and working. So see you guys later. Hope you had a good weekend.