For some reason I'm just not happy right now. I mean, in some aspects I am. I'm very happy in my relationship. And I'm happy when I'm doing band stuff, but there seems to be a general malaise about me right now.
First of all, I seem numb to most things. If I'm focused on one thing, I ignore all others. I know happiness 100% of the time if totally unfeasible, but I'm just unsettled about how I feel right now.
I do have several things I can pinpoint my anxiousness about. My weight for one. I haven't been this heavy in quite sometime and I just can't seem to lose it. As I get older, my habits seem to be more concrete and accomplishing new goals (whether I've attempted them before or not) seems much more difficult.
My new job is another. While I do like the people and the company, to do my job is akin to pulling teeth. Queries run forever and data is oddly organized. I love looking at data, but a majority of my time is spent trying to manipulate queries and find data. It makes for an exhausting day.
Of course, my car upsets me to. It's getting to 80k now and I've never had such issues with a newer car. For a BMW it's really turned to crap quickly. I've already socked thousands of dollars into it for repairs and I don't relish investing more.
Last but not least is my finances. I have most of it square away except for one thing. It looms over me like a cloud. I know I need to handle it soon but I dread the outcome.
I suppose I should chip away at those. We'll see what rememdies I can find to those issues.
