What amazes me the most...

during this little conversion of my life, is the myriad of phases and emotions I've been going through.

It's kind of been like an 8 month long really bad PMS. I've gone from depressed to estatic to frustrated to clingy to lonely. And all within minutes of eachother. I literally have never had to do anything in my life this difficult.

I have not been myself for the past 8 months. I've been spacey and emotional. It's been...educational.

Hopefully the worst is over. I have not heard from the ex in a few days. There is a bit of relief breaking away from the last of the burden. No more dealing with his bills. No more being horribly broke.

I'll keep you updated.

Wow! It has been awhile

I honestly thought I would update more often than this, but things have been kind of difficult. Let me catch you up...

As of yesterday, I officially told my ex that I am not paying any more of his bills. This means $1300 in mortgage and roughly $300 in utilities. This also means I could potentially lose the house. But, my credit is in the crapper and my bills need to be paid. I figure without paying his expenses, I can get my credit fairly back into good standing by January of next year.

The divorce is still going through. I'm in a waiting period until I can schedule the hearing. It's also our 10 year anniversary today. Hard to believe. Granted we had some good times, but then I also remember the heartache that came with every holiday. Tonight I plan on just relaxing and taking care of myself. No letdowns, no heartache, no expectations of something happening that won't.

Anyway, a bit emotionally drained right now, so I'm going to let you go. Hope all of you are doing well.