Wow!

It's almost the end of the year, okay not that close, but I haven't blogged much at all. I guess you can tell when I'm happier. I stop reading, stop blogging, start living. 

Although, currently life has it's ups and downs. Me and the future Mr had a serious discussion last night (aka argument.) It was exhausting and depleting and now all day today all I want to do is nap. That's my body's way of coping with both physical and mental and emotional pain...let's ignore the world by passing out. 

Funny how each year I ponder, "what happened to me?" And why the hell haven't I changed it? I mean life isn't bad, but what the heck happened to me?

Perhaps my past life was due to the people I was involved with. Not myself. I was involved with a group of good, if not morally questionable, people. Now I'm a hermit. 

Maybe I need to involve myself in something? Get involved again. But the question is with what? I really don't want to go back to Toastmasters. That requires too much work. At least for me. I always get roped into doing stuff. Right now I just need something enjoyable. But heck if I know what that is. 

I'm on the cusp of getting a new job, so perhaps that will be my catalyst. I just need to be patient. Bleh.