Holidays

Holidays are always so stressful for me. I've pretty much been depressed since Saturday. I don't know if it has anything at all to do with turning 40. Some of it is that both my parents are passed away. It's rough celebrating a day that wouldn't have occurred without them. On top of that, Ricky hasn't gotten my gift yet. I know this because we share bank accounts. It's not that he hasn't gotten it, it's that I gave him $200 for the week, and he spent it. Which left me taking money out of my budget for birthday dinner. And then Fallout last night. Which makes me nervous that he's going to take more money out of the account, that I can't afford, for my gift. I'm all in knots about it. On top of that, Anne invited me to a birthday dinner at Jordans tonight. She invited my aunt and grandma, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen, so now I'm all anxious about it. Then, I'm also sick. Allergies have got me coughing and feeling like crap. My preferred event to celebrate this day so far? Crawl into bed and sleep through it.