So I've been feeling much more productive lately. With Ridley now in school, even though hours are pretty much the same except earlier, I feel like I have more time to focus on myself.
I downloaded a language teacher...Russian...and a meditation app...Centered. I also have been trying to visit with family and friends more often.
One thing though...Ricky has his heart tests today. Of course, I'm worried, but more about him and his well-being, emotionally and physically. I'm there to support him no matter what but it's a scary thing. I love him. I adore him. And I hope everything comes out well.
I learned that my friends father is in the hospital today. He has colitis and a black mark on his lung. The biopsy didn't show anything but fuck. Dad passed, he took care of himself...well, relatively. He WAS a racer driver. Mom passed, but she had all kinds of illnesses since teen years. Now my friends dad. I mean, heck, why would I bust my ass living a life I'm miserable with exercising, eating ridiculous foods, being "safe", when literally anything could happen to me? Not to say I don't want to live a relatively healthy life, but I'm not going to obsess about it. Anything could happen, at any time. At least with my Dad and my Dad's friend they got to live full lives. My mom was screwed. Sick for as long as I could imagine. Putting up with shit relationships. Hard times, debt, Fuck that! I'm going to live my life to the fullest and truly enjoy it!
As the saying goes, I want to come sliding into the Pearly Gates screaming, "That was one hell of a ride!"
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