What do I want to be when I grow up?

I admitted to my husband the other day that at this age, I thought I would have everything together and all figured out. Isn't that the expectation? I would be comfortably wealthy, happy with who I was, and fairly intelligent and happy. My happiness is weird though. I love my husband and my son. They both can be exasperating at times, but ultimately they make me happy and feel loved. But myself...well that's a different story. I feel out of touch. Out of it. Exhausted. Unable to actually achieve any goals. I have no willpower whatsoever. I bet there is some book out there about it. I want to control everything but have absolutely no control over myself. What's more, I have an inability to become close to anyone anymore. I suppose I should see a therapist, but for heavens sake I already owe tons of medical bills. What do I do? I suppose I should focus on the being tired. This distracts me from doing anything else. So what makes me tired? - Lack of sleep? - Poor diet? - Depression? - Lack of Vitamin D Hmmm, I've seen doctors about it before. The only real answer was Vitamin D and those levels are back up again. So what is it? Probably a bit of everything above. I should probably flowchart my goals out. No I suppose I can write them. :-) Off to ToDoIst!!