Sleep anyone?

Oh goodness. I try to get things done but then my son decides that he wants to try to fall asleep with mommy for two hours. Thank goodness Ricky took over bathing duties last night. It gave me a chance to do laundry and also finally throw away those shoes laying in the carport that Will never took care of (bitter? a little)
Anyway, I did get some things done, bingo for me. However Ricky looked up what is going on with Riddles and apparently this is a phase. Argh. So it may some while til I am productive again. I'll keep trying to stick to my method of tasks however and try to spend more time with my men.

Simplify

It's time to simplify my life and the life of my family.




Hmmm, I wonder how I go about doing that? I suppose I start with the house. Get rid of everything we don't need. Organize everything we do. For the record, yes, I did do this before. And for the record, yes, it did work.
Life has been even more simplified since Will moved out. While I miss the little bastard, I'm glad to have control over my house again. I don't have someone critisizing every move or change I make in the house. I don't have flip flops and shoes and trash lying about the house. I hope he feels better too. Like he controls his own domain as well.
So goal #1...simplify.
So ways I can do this:

- Create snacks rather than lunches for my family. (Eating is to sustain life, not gorge.)

- Get rid of all furniture and stuff we don't need anymore (this includes my comic books, Riddles old toys, tvs, junk)

- Consider processes that take up time and making easier (cleaning the bathroom - keep cleaning stuff in the bathroom to clean during bathtime once a week.)

Tired

Slightly tired. Of course, it will hit me like a pound of bricks later tonight. I have to go to Toastmasters and wondering why. Perhaps it's time to focus on leadership instead of speeches? Somewhere along the line my excitement over giving speeches died out.
Honestly though, my passion for most stuff died out. Just super tired all the time. I need to start taking time for myself. With Ridley not sleeping though, it takes it out of you.

Work is going well except we found a couple of database that rely on the one I converted. Oh joy. So most likely more conversions. My work is all scattered in it's complexity. Of course, part of this is due to my lack of knowldge in Crystal Reporting so I just need to keep on keeping on. Must adhere to my goal of going beyong the customers needs however. I can do this!!!

Living the Good Life

Goodness life has taken a turn for the better...


Work: I was given my 90 day review and they love me. I'm doing work that I love and learning new things. It's amazing. What's more, my company seems to like to focus on the idea that give people work that they love to do and they'll be happy. Go figure! So now I feel a bit better about my role at work and feeling more secure about my sanity and my actual knowledge, I want to exceed my customers expectations! Blow them away! Work on being that big fish in a little pond again!

Home: Things between Ricky and I have been much better since about a week ago. Okay, so it wasn't really THAT bad to begin with but in all honesty, not having Will there has given us the freedom to be us more often. Didn't realize how much it was affecting us and our family. It wasn't bad by any means, but this is much better. Ricky and I have been working on the Death Star he got for his birthday and spending more quality time together. It's been so much more relaxing and better. So my goal here is just to continue investing that time into our relationship and spend better time together.
Ridley: My little man has been learning by leaps and bounds. I can pretty much hold an entire conversation with him between nods, gibberish and actual words. He's getting the hang of "ask and you shall receve". well, most of the time. He asks for a bottle right now and throws a fit when he doesn't get it. Focus on the little man will be on vocabulary and trying to get him to talk/communicate more.

YOLO

I have been feeling a little better about life in general lately. I'm starting to get my life back on track and identify the things I really want out of life.


Of course, Riddles progression with his vocabulary also helps immensely. I always start worrying about my parenting skills and then he goes through a dev leap. (Way to go Riddles!)
My intention is still to volunteer at Crisis Nursery however my email seems to have fallen on deaf ears. I missed the last orientation because it was at 1 in the afternoon and $65 for a background check. I emailed to ask them when the next one was, but received no answer. Maybe I'll go look at the website now.
I spoke too soon. I've regstered for a July course. That makes me feel better. Something someone said the other day about making time for what you think is important...I need to do that.
Right now, obviously, Ricky and Riddles are important, but also family and friends and exercising and volunteering. Am I taking on a lot? Damn skippy! But you only live once!

Birthdays

Argh, so sleep and tired. Are they the same thing? Ugh...no! I so could have taken Ricky's bday off, but unfortunately (a) HE does not have the day off because he is recording on Monday and (b) I am not allowed to take ETO until the 18th (merely one and a half weeks away). Argh!!!!!


Anywhoo...time will pass by soon enough. Lord know I do not have any patience and I need to work on it. Goals have been set aside for the meantime...however I do know this...since Will has moved out my stress levels have been pretty much cut in half (even with Ricky bemoaning the fact that he is turning 30....or as he likes to call it...OLD.) And the house looks immensely better. You can't even imagine the immensely larger area we have in the house. It's less cluttered, which means less areas for scorpions to hide. When I come home, there isn't piles of dishes and trash all over the place. Truly so much better. I still have some uncluttering to do, but this has free'd up my time and made me less stressed.

So onward...this weekend will be insanely busy. But a good busy, I'm trying to embrace my busi-ness. Lord knows, there will be no end to it until the kid is 18. So, small celebration Thursday, cake making and present making on Friday, the whole shebang on Saturday, collapse in a heap on Sunday...oh wait...I mean pick up the kid from grandpa's. Whew!
Should be fun. Hopefully. He better like it...he BETTER.

Back to a normal journal again. Well part venting and part goal setting. I'm all a flumux trying to figure out what to do with my life...and Ricky isn't helping with his constant depression over turning 30. 30?!? Wait until he turns 40 or 50 or any other age older. He'll look back and wish for the good old days. I'm 37 however I refuse to acknowledge it. I try not to think of it when I can. However, my body likes to remind me. I'm much slower to get up anymore and so tired all the time. I'm not as spry as I used to be. Of course, if I would get out an exercise more often, that probably would go away.


Now as for the rest of my life...I'm still highly paranoid and overly judgemental about everything. I don't know why but negative thoughts flow through my head so easily. That and I also just feel guilty for having so much in life. There are mothers and fathers waging and living through wars, poverty, famine and we have everything we could ever want.

I guess when I think about it, I just really need to get off my ass and volunteer. I have my job (knock on wood), I have my family, my friends, my wonderful house, but not volunteering have left a gaping hole that I've been taping a piece of paper over and saying, "I'll get to it."

I can go to a training session tomorrow. I'll make it my goal to look at that and attend tomorrow.