Back to a normal journal again. Well part venting and part goal setting. I'm all a flumux trying to figure out what to do with my life...and Ricky isn't helping with his constant depression over turning 30. 30?!? Wait until he turns 40 or 50 or any other age older. He'll look back and wish for the good old days. I'm 37 however I refuse to acknowledge it. I try not to think of it when I can. However, my body likes to remind me. I'm much slower to get up anymore and so tired all the time. I'm not as spry as I used to be. Of course, if I would get out an exercise more often, that probably would go away.


Now as for the rest of my life...I'm still highly paranoid and overly judgemental about everything. I don't know why but negative thoughts flow through my head so easily. That and I also just feel guilty for having so much in life. There are mothers and fathers waging and living through wars, poverty, famine and we have everything we could ever want.

I guess when I think about it, I just really need to get off my ass and volunteer. I have my job (knock on wood), I have my family, my friends, my wonderful house, but not volunteering have left a gaping hole that I've been taping a piece of paper over and saying, "I'll get to it."

I can go to a training session tomorrow. I'll make it my goal to look at that and attend tomorrow.