Do you ever have to do something, but you just wait for the perfect moment to do it? You're not sure what defines that 'perfect moment', whether it be courage or just mentality. But you wait...and then all of a sudden, you're driven to accomplish that task. You know you have to do it at that moment, or you may never have the ability to do it again?
I just sent two emails. Emails I had been waiting on creating and sending for awhile now. Emails to old high school friends.
I didn't know if I wanted to email them. Heck, no one has gotten into contact with me since the reunion. But I found the emails in my day planner which hasn't been opened since before the holidays. And I was motivated to send something.
The first was a guy, a sweet and lovable guy, who was a friend on mine. Unfortunately, he expressed his undying love to me in high school and I squashed his heart like a bug on a windshield. Rather than trying to reinforce our friendship, I made light of the situation and acted like a real bitch.
So I emailed him and said I was really sorry for that and he truly was a nice guy and I was undeserving of his friendship.
The second was to a couple I was close friends with. Last time I saw them, they did some things that pissed me off. Although they didn't know it, I chose to end ties with them and never contacted them again...til now.
My email to them started out with schmarmy crap about what good friends they were and how I couldn't believe they were still together after all this time. But it ended with complete and utter honesty. (Heck, it's email. I could never say such things in person.) I pondered why we hadn't emailed eachother. And why no one had emailed me since the reunion. I told them there was a reason why I hadn't contacted them since the last day we met, although didn't go into detail about the whys. I also told them I cherished the time we had in high school and told them what great friends they were.
I have no idea what motivated me. I don't really know what to expect back. Ugh, I'm such a psycho, sentimental beyotch.
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