Sunday, January 01, 2006

Let Me Be The First To Wish You...

a very Crappy New Year!!!

Oh don't get me wrong. I had all good intentions to start out with.

Then as I as lying in bed, starting to fall asleep, yet still fighting to stay awake, I smelled cat food. I thought, "This is a good sign. My sense of smell must be coming back if I can smell that. But why do I smell it? Does our house really smell that bad?"

I looked all around me expecting to see at least one fwitten laying next to my head with bad fish breath. But no, no foul-mouthed fwittens to be seen.

So I snugged in and then invited a scared pooch to join me on the bed. He was shaking, so I swept my hand over to comfort him and came into direct contact with cat vomit.

After several minutes of cleaning it up, then trying to get comfortable in bed again, I glanced at the telly and noticed only three minutes til the new year.

I noticed the smallest furry one was missing, and after calling him several times, decided to hunt him down to console him. It was then, that I walked into the living room and noticed several dark spots on the carpet. I switched the light on and voila! A plethora of runny and firm dog turds all over my living room carpet.

Why the carpet when the rest of the house is 90% tile, you ask? I don't know. Damn dog!!

So my New Year was spent cleaning up cat vomit and dog turds while flinching from the sounds of fireworks (hope it doesn't burn up all the dry leaves in my yard) or worse a bullet dropping down from the skies to snuggle nicely in my round head.

I figured I'd share the xperience with you as I waited for my carpet cleaner to dry and commence vacumming.

Happy New Year!!

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